


You Only Live Thrice

by DumpsterCrumpster



Category: South Park
Genre: F/F, F/M, Kenny uses she pronouns in this, M/M, Multi, Other, Stick of Truth AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-12-14 09:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumpsterCrumpster/pseuds/DumpsterCrumpster
Summary: Kenny is a cursed princess sent to live alone in an abandoned castle. Feldspar is the thief hired to kill her. Basically a Stick of Truth au no one asked for. No betas we die like men.





	1. Outro

The land of the Snowy South was just that; full of fresh and old snow, roads covered in sleet, and the air unforgivingly biting. One would often find themselves wondering how the few locals handled such dangerous temperatures, even with their heavily furred hoods and boots. 

But, there was a bit more to it than heavy coats and cloth covering the more sensitive parts of the face. 

Overlooking the white valleys from a high balcony window, Lady Kenny McCormick would watch as the sun gracefully lowered itself to the horizon line. A laugh unbefitting of a princess escaped her mouth as she raised what must've been her fifth glass of dinner wine to her red stained lips. 

"Ooh, you must think you're sooo wonderful, don't you? Damn gods plaything in the sky...if you're so damn warm why don'tcha float over my house for once? Give us a bit of tha heat what makes crops grow?" Scoffing again, the princess knocked back the last of her glass, the artificial warmth flowing through her chest and cheeks. Preoccupied with her petty anger, the princess failed to hear footsteps reach her open bedroom door.

"You're going to fall through that damn window if you keep drinking like that." 

The second voice was coming from the doorway, from a tall and lean man with full blue eyes. He shook some snow off of his hood before lowering it, revealing a head of inky black hair.

Another laugh came from the Princess of the South, this one much more gleeful and light. 

"Ooh nooo! Are you here to make sure such a thing happens, oh mysterious stranger in my room?" 

Wobbly footsteps were taken towards the second figure, open arms coming around to clasp them firmly in a welcome back hug. Hot hands began to wander to the others face, cupping the cheeks of the blue eyed male. 

Blinking a bit at the feel of the mans face, Kenny frowned, her gaze sobering just a smidge. 

"Oh. You're so cold," the princess muttered, clumsily rubbing her hands over the others cheeks over and over again. 

With a sigh and a half smile, the black haired man took the hands of the princess in his own, guiding her ministrations to be a bit gentler. 

"That's what happens when you're out in the Snowy South. You get cold." 

Kenny didn't remove her hands, looking up at the intruder with a frown. 

"Don't get wise with me, Feldspar. I may be drunk, but I'm not a fool." 

The man only smiled a bit more, moving down to rest his head in the crook of the Princesses neck. Hide gloves were tossed to the floor, bare hands wrapped around her smaller frame, bringing her wine warm body into his cold one. 

"Forgive me Princess. I didn't mean to insult you. For you are the fairest, smartest, and most forgiving ruler in all the land." 

A stifled laugh washed away any sense of annoyance on Kennys face, her own hands wrapping tightly around Feldspar in turn. 

"Oh, my one weakness! Your flattery! How could I punish one so wise?" She held the other closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his still icy cheek. 

Feldspar had been a visitor in her self titled queendom for some time now. A year, was it? Two? Princess Kenny had lost track after the seasons had changed over and over. She had never been particularly good with things like time and dates. She only remembered how he had arrived; cold and bloodied, with a thieves knife in hand. 

It was a stark difference to how he appeared before her now. Feldspar was still Feldspar, by all means; tall, dark eyed, with an air of intimidation looming around him. But the face that was pressing against the princesses held a different expression now. As dark and sharp as Feldspars eyes were, they always turned soft whenever his gaze rested on Kenny, honey sweet and warm. Hackles that always seemed to be raised were lowered, and the skilled thief before the Princess was simply Feldspar. Tall, dry humored, blunt, precious Feldspar. 

A sudden swarm of kisses was placed against Kenny's neck, her smaller frame being lifted in Feldspars arms with ease. She laughed gleefully as the thief in her room tossed the both of them into their shared bed, Feldspars kisses now softer and more carefully placed. Kenny's hands found the thieves inky black hair, running her fingers through with a grin. 

"Oh? Have you at last stolen me, my thief? And what do you plan on doing with me now?" 

The head of black hair hadn't looked up from the crook of the princesses neck, although his light kisses had stopped. Kenny heard a thick swallow before the man in her arms moved, looking down at her with a painfully red face. 

"Don't say that kind of stuff...you know I hate it.." 

Kenny's arms were latched around Feldspars neck in the blink of an eye, her soft coos and laughter fillings their shared room. 

"Oh, I know, I'm sorry Feldspar! You just look so cute when you're all red and embarrassed, I can't help myself! Aw, you're burning up, you're so embarrassed!" 

Feldspars reply was muffled by the princesses tight armlock, but she assumed it was the usual soft, forgiving grunt the thief gave her when she pushed his buttons on purpose. 

Pressing Feldspars cheeks between her hands, Princess Kenny gave him a sincere look before pressing her lips to his forehead. 

"You know, I still think you're a great thief. The best and most cunning thief in the world. The only one fit for a demon princess such as myself." 

The man between her palms blinked before softly scoffing. A laugh like that fit Feldspar more than anything else. 

"I'm better than a great thief. I'm the best thief in the world."

Kenny almost laughed at Feldspars cocky attitude, but was silenced by his calloused hands gripping at her own, feather light kisses pressing themselves into her palms. 

"But I didn't steal you. I would never steal you. I would fight for you, live, die, care for you forever. Be with you forever. But I would never steal you."

Kennys face was the one burning now. The princess took her hands back hurriedly, rolling onto her side and clasping her palms over her face in an effort to hide the blooming pinks and reds in her cheeks. 

"...You did that on purpose, you snake," she mumbled, not daring to sneak a look at the thief above her. She felt the bed dip instead, Feldspar blocking her in between his forearms. 

"I did. Flattery is your biggest weakness, right?" 

Kennys face went an even deeper shade of red as she pressed herself deep into the mountains of pillows on the bed beneath her. 

"Stop, stop, please! I give up! You win!" 

Another scoff laugh from above. 

"Against you? I always do." 

Kenny sighed to herself, finally coming out from behind her hands to get a look at the thief above her. He was still close, smirking, and still a bit pink in the face. Kenny pressed her hands closed again, sighing deeply. She was in desperate need of more wine.


	2. Incoming

Feldspar the Thief. A simple title for a man of simple practices. A tall, vicious looking man, almost always dressed head to toe in black, a color that matched his thick head of black hair. The only color one was able to see was the icy blue of his irises, a bone chilling glare permanently etched into his face. Feldspar the Thief. A simple man with a seemingly simple job offer. 

The young man had been hired to kill a child of royalty by the princesses mad parents. 'Rid the world of that cursed stain!', they said. And cursed the Princess was. After pressing for more information, Feldspar was informed that her mother and father had begun dabbling in black magics during the time Lady Carol was pregnant, trying to save the child she had damned with heavy drinking and mind altering white powders during her pregnancy. Using ancient scribes the family had since locked away in their libraries, Cthulhus Magic saved a child from death had worked, but resulted in a horrid curse. The inability to die. A terrible fall from a second story window at age two, the unfortunate carriage accident at three and a half, the countless kitchen accidents at ages five, six, and seven proved it. The Queens belly would swell overnight, her princess being born over and over again death after death. No matter the circumstance, Princess Kenny would wake the morning after she had been killed, dressed and aged to the exact moment before she died. 

It was traumatizing to witness and experience, surely. Even so, The Lord and Lady never really changed their ways as Kenny grew older, their mentality towards their daughter only growing more and more resentful as the days went on. 

They had grown so bitter towards their daughter in fact, that on her eighteenth birthday, the Lord and Lady McCormick sent her off to 'rule' a patch of their land that rarely saw the sun. The Snowy South was far from hospitable towards the locals, and for a princess at her age, Kenny had seen it as a death sentence. Or rather, an isolation sentence. Death would send her right back to the house where she was so despised. Word had spread that the McCormicks had another daughter after Kenny, a fair and soft brunette lovingly named Karen. Were her parents trying to erase her existence completely? Kenny often laughed to herself when the thought crossed her mind. Of course they were. 

The risk was high, the price higher as the Snowy South was no easy realm to navigate. It was said that the princesses land was as cursed as she was, surrounded by deadly oddities and villainous cults alike. She would neither confirm or deny these rumors, but Feldspars disheveled appearance upon arrival was more than enough. He could recall every oddity, every hooded face, every beast he had to outsmart in order to make it to the Princesses castle. 

Still, if one were to ask, he would merely shrug and reply with a rather rude hand gesture.

But simply killing the princess would prove futile wouldn't it? Killing an immortal wasn't possible! Unless you were Feldspar the Thief. Word of his victory over the Immortal Vampire King, Vampir of the Banana Republics, had spread far and wide. The common thief had also been practicing witchcraft, though a much more pure form than that of the Rulers of the land of Pabst. Magic was introduced to him through the Paladins of Kuppa Keep, honed by the High Priests in the Elven Kindgom, and perfected in a land he wouldn't talk about. He would only say fruits grew ten times their average size there, and that there were fantastic beasts with the softest fur in the world. 

So, with such a victory under his belt, Feldspar the Theif was quite the viable candidate to bring an end to a cursed child's life. With simple instructions ("kill her however you need too. Bring some proof if you want your reward.") and simpler directions, the thief was suddenly an assassin for hire. And his first job, judging from the payout, was going to be his last. 

Until he actually arrived at his destination. Cold, hungry, tired, and a bit more than pissed off, Feldspar had every intent on killing the girl locked away in her stone tower. Moving under the cover of night, (holy fucking FROZEN night) the blue eyed thief had made his way completely unseen through eerily empty corridors of a...less than put together castle. Or was it more of a reserve? Whatever it was, it was definitely left in shambles after some kind of disaster. A fire maybe? A bloody revolt? Feldspar didn't know, nor did he really care to find out. He had one job. Go in, kill the beast girl, and collect a reward. 

What he had found seemed to be the opposite of a beast. Walking quietly as ever, the thief had finally come across a sign of life in the dreary tower. A single hair ribbon, in what surely used to be a shade of white. Perfect. Keeping the soft tie in his hand, Feldspar kept his pace, coming across more pieces of cloth as he walked up a flight of curving stairs. Another ribbon, a pair of house slippers, , a sock...and that was where his trail ended. In front of an open bedroom door, a girl with the longest, wildest blonde hair he had ever seen was staring out the aging balcony window. 

"Aaaaand another thing!" she spoke, or rather slurred. She was waving her arms around as she spoke, spilling what looked like wine on the sleeves and front of a formerly white night gown. "You can't blaaaame me for being born this way! I wasn't the one who put black magic in her head! I didn't tell her to get so drunk on poppy milk that her beloved princess was doomed from the start! But nooo, Princess Kenny had to be the demon spawn of wretched DRUNKEN FOOLS!" 

The way she screamed her last word almost made Feldspar jerk. He had never heard a royal girl yell before. He especially hadn't heard one scream out into a dark snowy void, wine dripping down their arm and being slammed back down near empty. 

"And a SISTER!? I have a sister I've never even met! A sister with golden eyes and earth brown hair..., and the gentlest smile in all of the land. A sister who will know nothing of her cursed beast of a sibling, if Carol and Stuart have anything to say about it. And they will! Ha! Might as well be a bastard with how much they loooved me!" 

The bitterness in the princesses voice was practically dripping, much like her sleeves as she knocked back what wine was left in her cup. Talk of bastards always left Feldspar bitter as well. It was too personal a subject. His mother had been a bit...close to a 'Lord Marsh' in her younger days. He was some high ranking official in some far away army that Feldspar hadn't bothered to find. All he really knew about Lord Marsh was that he would send his mother gifts from time to time, including ale, money folded in an official looking envelope, and even a brown bronco for Feldspar when he turned thirteen. He had ended up selling it for a handsome price. The only thing Feldspar would accept from that man was the absence of a last name. He was simply Feldspar. Bastards didn't deserve last names in the Kingdom of the Rockies. 

"Mother. Mother, mother, fair lady of the land of Pabst...you are the monster you are making me out to be, I'm sure. Who have I abandoned like you? None. Who have I damned like you? None! Pfft... Why is it me that Cthulu saw fit to curse? A forever life given to me, and for what?" 

Feldspar watched as bare feet climbed up onto the stone window edge, surely freezing from the lack of socks. Feldspar took note of how large the princesses feet were as she climbed. She was actually pretty tall in her entirety, now that he had a good look at her; In the moonlight he could see she was only a few inches beneath his height. He could also see that the princesses skin was dotted with freckles, her eyes deep and blue like his, and her hair...her hair wafted in the night breeze so gently that Feldspar could have mistaken it for angels wings. Watching as Kenny raised her arms wide as she took in a deep breath, Feldspar did jump this time when she let out a mighty scream. 

"OOOH, RIGHT! MY FATE IS TO RULE OVER A FROZEN WASTELAND!! WELL C'MON THEN, YA BASTARDS! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DEFEAT! I'LL BE THE MOST FEARED PRINCESS IN ALL THE KINGDOMS, RIDE INTO BATTLE ON A DAMN UNICORN, AND KILL ALL OF YA! GIVE ME SOMETHING WORTH SAVING!"

Feldspar watched as the princess thrashed and stomped around on her windowsill, unblinking and unmoving. Was she always so...lively? He bit his lower lip out of habit, chewing off chapped skin as he watched Kenny curse her parents, the Old Gods, and all of the Rockies. He was completely and utterly entranced by how much rage was locked away inside such a lanky body. Feldspars lips almost curved upwards into a fond smile until the princess smashed her foot down one final time. 

Perhaps the stomp was too harsh, or the stone was too eroded and old. The aging balcony window didn't have the strength to support such a violent outburst for so long, crumbling under the Princesses foot. All Feldspar had to do was blink, and suddenly all he saw was blonde hair floating down past the balcony edge. He ran forward immediately, stopping cold when he heard more screams from below him. 

"FUCK! ARE YOU SERIOUS? I FELL FROM A TOWER TWICE THIS HIGH BEFORE I COULD SPEAK! GOD OF DEATH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!" 

The princess? Feldspar just watched as she had fallen drunkenly from a tower window, hadn't he? He should be hearing a splatter, a crunch, something much less comical. Approaching cautiously, the thief peered over the edge of collapsed stone, briefly marveling at what he was seeing. The princess had found her grip against the tower wall, clutching at the tiniest duvets with orc-like strength. He could hear her labored breath as she regained her focus, watching as she raised a single hand to latch onto another invisible grip. 

"C'mon, cmon...," she grunted, forehead pressed tightly against the tower wall, hand blindly searching for something to latch onto. 

Feldspar didn't know why he ended up reaching his hand out for Kenny to grab onto. The feeling of a palm against hers must've sent the princess into a state of shock as well, as she immediately snapped her gaze upwards. Seeing the jump in her body, Feldspar gripped her hand tightly, hauling the princesses now limp body back up into her room and into his chest. 'Safe', he thought. 

He stood like that for a few seconds before releasing the girl in his arms like hot coals. She hadn't moved from his grip at all. In fact, the princess seemed to have lost all the thoughts wracking around in her head in exchange for looking Feldspar right in the face. Or, what little face he had exposed at the moment. His cheeks, nose, and mouth had been covered completely by thick black cloth, all to protect himself from the bitter cold forever surrounding the lands he was in. Feldspar stared back at her, completely quiet, frozen in place under the gaze of Princess Kenny. 

Until she started to quietly laugh to herself. Covering her wine stained mouth, the princess let a healthy chuckle roll through her body, her shoulders quivering a bit with her laughter. 

"Is this the look you're going for now, Death God? It's very, pfft, becoming of you.." The princesses mouth was still hidden behind her hand as she laughed, but she did look back up at Feldspar again. He was able to see the blotchy redness in her face this time around, catch how she was lightly swaying back and fourth despite not taking any steps forward or back. 

The Princess was still quite drunk. 

Hiding his biting frown beneath the cloth over his face, the insulted thief didn't say anything as the princess before him continued to speak. 

"Y-you look like you've been on quite the journey...come all this way to reap me of my soul? And whas with the eyes, hm? You going blue now? Trying to be more fashion forward, are you? Haha..." 

The princess laughed at her own bad jokes. Trying to keep the hidden frown behind his cloak stiff, Feldspar continued to hold his tongue, clenching his fists at his sides. It wasn't working; he could feel his tight mouth loosen in an uneven smile. Who would ever dream of mocking Death so carelessly!? It made Feldspar want to laugh. 

"Y-yknow you don't haveta get all spruced up for me, don'tcha? We're good buddies aren't we now, Death God? Go on then! Go ahead and whisk my lost soul away back to that wretched woman's womb! She'll send me back here by the next sun up, I'm sure of it." 

All of this was said in a singsong type of voice before the princess closed her eyes, letting her body fall forward and rest against Feldspar. 

"..Zzzz...zzzz..."

Or. Sleep against Feldspar. The drunken princess Kenny had confused Feldspar for Death Itself, feeling at peace enough to pass out against his chest. The thief would've laughed if the situation didn't seem so uncomfortable and sad. 

Looking down at the skinny frame against his own, Feldspar shifted the princess a bit, supporting her weight with one arm and resting the other against the small of her back. 

There would be no killing tonight.

Instead, Feldspar laid Kenny down in her large bed, covering her body with every fur he could find. Which was three. Not nearly enough to keep anyone comfortably warm through this harsh night. 

Feldspar quietly examined the room he was in now that all of his attention wasn't monopolized by a drunk Royal with a death wish. Expectedly so, there wasn't much to look at. A large bed, currently occupied was there, along with a wardrobe, a window, a shelf full of books and an empty stone fireplace. 

If feldspar were a more complicated young man, he would've been asking himself why he was going out of his way to gather wood and casting a simple fire spell. He would be asking himself why he would light a fire for somebody he didn't know, to make sure they were a bit more comfortable throughout such a dreary night. 

But feldspar wasn't all that complicated. Sitting against the stone wall of the princesses room, the warm glow of a fire illuminating the way Kenny nuzzled herself deeper into her cocoon of blankets, feldspar decided. 

He decided he would never let anything else hurt the princess for as long as he lived. Anyone or anything who tried would have to answer to him.

He would leave the princess after he was sure she wouldn't drown in vomit in her sleep, choosing to wrap himself tighter in his heavy cloaks and find shelter elsewhere. Why bother someone who was asleep so peacefully with a stranger in their room when they awoke? 

Taking shelter in a near broken down horse stable, Fledspar rubbed his hands together furiously, feeling the electric blue magic on his fingers warm up his arms, traveling like static throughout his entire body. That would be enough to keep him warm for a while, he was sure. Crossing his arms and making sure to keep his fists tight, Feldspar shut his eyes, catching up on his much needed rest. 

That was how things would go for a while. Feldspar would keep watch over Kenny from afar, assuring that she avoided drinking too heavily, freezing to death, and the like. He quickly realized that the princess seemed to be very very prone to danger as well. A walk outside the castle would result in Kenny being tailed by territorial animals, a trip to the forest would bring out people from the surrounding cults who viewed her highness as an intruder in their once private land. Fuck, a bout to the kitchen to cook a meal would cause a rack of rusted knives to mysteriously fall close to her head and end her life. Was this a result of the curse, or carelessness? After watching the princess train herself to cook and clean and essentially survive on her own in a foreign place, feldspar deemed it both. Mostly the curse, but definitely both. 

Still, taking care of the princess from the shadows was getting to be more and more difficult. Feldspar wasn't able to help her avoid nasty falls or cutting her fingers. As much as he didn't like admitting it, he had grown fond of seeing her safe. Feldspar had grown fond of seeing the princess in general, even if he found some of her habits a bit...concerning. 

There had been one night and one night only where Feldspar had almost let the princesses life slip through his fingers. There had been no monster, no attempting kidnapper, no hired killer to murder the princess in her sleep. 

It had been too much wine and a too hot tub. 

Feldspar never watched Kenny bathe; it was too personal an act for a respectable thief to lurk around for. He would make sure the princess entered without hurting herself, and as soon as her back turned, he would leave, waiting silently outside of the bathing room for the princess to emerge. Kenny would take long soaks, but something about this one had seemed off. Feldspar hadn't heard any swears or soft thuds signaling that the princess had slipped and landed on her forever bruised knees. There was only the sound of silence. A silence that had been lasting for far too long. 

So feldspar would swallow his pride and glance inside, forcing the door open soon after seeing a blacked out Princess Kenny sinking deeper and deeper under boiling hot tub water. He remembered the stinging feeling in his hands as he fished the princess out of the scalding water, holding her steaming body close to his icy one. What was he supposed to do with her now!? Panicked and shaken, the thief laid Kenny down and pressed his mouth to hers, pushing breath after deep breath into her lungs.

"Breathe, dammit..." He mumbled over and over again, pressing his hands harshly against the princesses flat chest. Leaning in to breathe into her mouth for what felt like the thousandth time, the thief was caught off guard by mouthful after mouthful of water and wine poured from Kennys lips. Feldspar practically jumped away when Kenny rolled over to continue her vomiting, but he didn't leave the room. He couldn't. Not after almost losing someone so...something. 

Watching thin shoulders quake with exhaustion, Feldspar only took a step forward once he saw the princess lay back down on the stone floor. She was tired, too sore and dizzy to even bother moving herself away from her puddle of regurgitated bath water. As her shoulders rose and fell with every unsure breath taken, Feldspar stood and watched her, completely silent. Chewing his lip after watching the princess fall into another coughing spell, the thief shrugged his heavy black cape off, wrapping it around the blonde princesses shoulders. 

"You should be more careful," he mumbled, carefully picking Kenny up off of the ground and into his arms. "Death isn't always so merciful, you know." 

Feldspar wasn't sure if he had heard a laugh come from the princesses weak body, but he did feel her go slack in his arms. Good. She was resting.

Footsteps ever silent, the blue eyed thief was careful not to jostle the royal in his arms too much, especially as he marched up the tower stairs. She may be resting, but that didn't mean she was going to be fine. Her lungs would be weak for a while, and her head was probably spinning wildly from the amount of water she had hacked up. Pushing her bedroom door open with his foot, Feldspar let Kenny down easy on her mattress, resisting the odd urge to push the damp blonde bangs off of her forehead. Instead, he would tighten his cloak around her body, dragging the few blankets she had over her as well. She would probably be better off under blankets than water. 

Looking over her one more time, Feldspar sighed at the sight of her soaked hair and red blotched cheeks. He needed to leave. Turning on his heels to make his escape once again, a light touch to his lower back made a shiver go up his spine and an alertness shoot into his eyes. Turning back swiftly, thieves knife immediately in his hand, Feldspar didn't find any lurking enemy or nightmarish cryptid. Just the heavy lidded eyes of the princess looking up at him, her hand still weakly outstretched from where she had touched him. 

The thieves eyes went wide, his weapon immediately concealing itself as he took calculated steps backwards. Kennys eyes hadn't left his own, but she was slowly stretching her hand out more, a weak sound escaping her lips. A stuck cough shot itself out of the royals mouth again before she was able to speak a bit clearer. 

"...Death...I've missed you." Her hand was still out, Feldspar jerking when he realized the princess was holding it out for him to take hold of. He shouldn't. He did. The princesses hand felt thin and hot through his gloved hand, feldspars thumb betraying him and rubbing gently over Kennys knuckles. The princess let out a weak laugh at the feeling, letting her body rest more easily against her pillowy bed. 

"...Don't leave me this time, Death," she sighed, letting her heavy eyes close as she drifted. "...I've missed you so." 

As Princess Kenny allowed herself to slip into an exhausted sleep, Feldspar watched her, his hand still cupped against hers. A sticky feeling was building itself up in his stomach that he tried desperately to ignore, but one look at the snoozing royal would make the feeling that much more noticeable. She didn't want him to leave? Was she even aware of what she was saying with how much she drank? Was he actually going to stay!? 

Feldspar dared another look at the princess, catching her contentedly burying her cheek further into one of her hundred pillows. He would be staying. Feldspar wouldn't make a single move until Princess Kenny stirred, his hand still cupped in hers.


	3. A Formal Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy! Sorry for the wait. Hope the length makes up for it?

The sun rose as quietly as it always did over plains of snow and trees, the Snowy Souths morning warming fraction by fraction of a degree until one might be able to go out in four layers instead of five. Feldspars eyes held a dark hue beneath them that were more noticeable as the sun rose, lashes fluttering close to his cheeks for too long every now and then. He has stood as stark still as he could the entire night, his only movement rubbing his thumb over the princesses warming knuckles. 

Such a long night standing watch over her had left him tired, but...oddly enough, he didn’t want to sleep. If he took his eyes off of the girl laying before him, Feldspar felt like she might vanish, just like she almost had the night before down the balcony. 

Why did the thought bother him? Fuck if he knew. He could feel his jaw tightening at the idea of losing sight of the princess again, unintentionally squeezing her hand at the thought. 

And, while the princess had slept through the night like the dead, she had to wake sometime. Sometime seemed to come about after Feldspar pressed her hand tighter, Kenny’s hand squeezing back and eyebrows knitting together in an irritated fashion. 

Pulling and squeezing Feldspars hand, Kenny slowly lifted her head from her bed, blonde hair tangled and messy from a long night of rest. Feldspar remembers thinking about how peaceful the princess looked waking up, her eyes clouded heavily with fading dreams. Feldspar could almost see his own reflection in the deep glassiness, watching as the fogginess left the princesses eyes. Feldspar thought of how nice it might be to see those eyes shine with happiness one day. 

Until he was dodging blow after blow to the face. God, for such a slim girl, Kenny had really heavy fists. 

"GET OUT! WHO ARE YOU!? WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK, GET OUT!!" 

This was screeched over and over again, Feldspar trying to get his words out as best as he could. He started with his name.

"F-Feldspar! I'm Feldspar!"

Another hit to the stomach, blocked. Ouch. There would be a bruise there the next morning, surely. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!? SHE SENT YOU HERE, DIDNT SHE!? THAT BITCH!" 

A punch to the face, blocked. A kick to the lead leg, blocked. An axe kick to the head, just barely blocked, holding the both of them still for a microsecond.

"Yes! W-well...yeah, but--"

"I knew it!!" 

Kennys leg suddenly felt twice as heavy, her rage increasing the weight of her hits. A flurry of elbow jabs and kicks to the body were all thankfully dodged and passed off carefully, but not without a struggle. Feldspar had only dealt with angry women twice in his life, and this time wasn't any easier. Princess Kenny’s rage almost held a candle to his own mothers. 

Catching a harsh kick to the ribcage, the breathless thief looked at the princess across from him, trying to form words as fast as he could. 

"I was sent here to kill you! For money!" 

Smooth Feldspar. The look on Kennys face hardened as she tried to jerk her leg free. Keeping his grip tight, the thief tried to pick up his explanation. 

"But I can't! I don't want too!" 

Kenny still yanked at her leg, her balance slowly failing her. Swallowing hard, Feldspar dropped the girls leg, letting her regain her balance. He watched as she put space immediately between the two of them, her hands still raised to strike. He put his hands up too, much more loosely, in the same pose. Kennys facial expression changed immediately from deadly, to somewhat annoyed. 

"...What's that supposed to mean," she asked, changing her stance again. Her right foot was forward this time, her back going up straight. She was ready to attack, like a feral cat ready to pounce. 

Feldspar followed her example, mirroring her pose slowly and loosely. 

"It means I don't want to kill you. So I’m not going too. I don’t use my magic on people who don’t deserve it." 

Kennys stance was more stiff this next pose, her hands guarding her face tightly. Feldspar put his up lamely, leaving himself entirely open. 

"...Magic, huh? I don't know shit about magic. How am I supposed to know you're not lying to me?" So the princess was naturally suspicious too? That was good. Feldspar wouldn't trust him either. 

"You won't. I'm a really good liar," he stated, an tilt of his head leaving him even more exposed if Kenny decided to hit him. 

"Wow. You're really selling yourself as trustworthy, you know that?" The princess took a harsh step forward, to which Feldspar took a step back. 

"I can't hurt anyone who hasn't hurt anyone else. You haven't hurt anyone else. You told me so when you were yelling out the window." 

"You were listening for that long!?" Kenny took three quick, angry steps forward, to which Feldspar took back. He had his back pressed against the chamber wall when he took his third step, still watching Kenny through the locks of blonde hair that had fallen against her face. She was watching Feldspar, analyzing him for any trace of a lie, any sudden moves. It had been so long since she had seen another persons face, it almost felt completely foreign to her. People looked a lot more statuesque than she remembered. 

Finally, the thief replied. "...Yes. I was listening for that long. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been listening. But I was." Slowly, he made moves of his own. Reaching down to his belt, Craig looked at the princess across from him, never once breaking eye contact. Unhooking the leather belt he had across his waist, Craig let his only weapon fall to the floor. A single dagger, covered in dry blood. 

"There," he said again, putting his hands up in defeat. "That's all I have. Nothing else, I swear. And now I'm going to leave and never come back. So-"

The princess scoffed, dragging the discarded belt and dagger closer to her with her foot, giving Feldspar zero chance to try and grab for it again. 

"You could have let me fall. Why didn't you?" Kenny never moved her fists from her face, opting instead to use her feet to grab Feldspars knife, quickly tossing it up and snatching it in the air. Assuring he wasn't going to use any quick tricks on her? Smart girl. 

"...I didn't want you to die." There was more to it than that, Feldspar realized. Something in the mans chest let him react without thinking first. He didn't want to see Kenny fall. He didn't want to see her hurt. He didn't want her to have to scream and cry and get drunk and curse her mother from a balcony window so far away that there wasn't any way Lady Carol could hear her. "...I wanted you to be safe," he concluded, looking the girl across from him straight in the eyes. 

Kenny had the knife raised, her eyes clear and her mouth in an angry snarl. “That sounds like a load of dragon shit, you know that, right? An assassin giving his targets life up simply because ‘he doesn’t feel like killing her anymore’? What kind of killer are you anyway?” 

“I’m not a killer. By nature, I guess,” Feldspar kept his hands up and his back firm against the wall. “I’m a thief. Or, I was a thief. You were supposed to be a last job sort of deal.” 

“Oh? And this ‘thief’ is so fair weathered that he wouldn’t kill someone because he didn’t feel like it? He changes his mind because of a speech and a misguided sense of purpose?” 

Feldspar stood quiet. 

The princess took harsh and fast steps forward, the knife raised to strike, and strike hard. Dark eyes shut themselves tightly, ready to feel the cold metal in his neck and try to summon as much magic as Feldspar could to heal himself. 

But it never came. Instead, a sharp ‘thunk’ was heard next to his ear. The thief opened his eyes back up again to see the princess panting harshly, backing away with no knife in hand. 

Looking down, Feldspar saw his knife lodged deeply in his layers of clothes, the blade stuck almost down to the hilt in the wall behind him. 

Feldspar was stuck. Truly, madly, deeply stuck in a wall. 

“What the fuck is this!?” the thief asked, his voice raised in annoyance, his usual stoic face twisted in a look of disbelief. 

“It’s you. Being stuck in a wall, dummy. Did you think I was just going to let you wander around freely or something? I can’t just let you go either! If you go back to that evil witch and give her a report on me, who knows who she’ll end up sending here instead!” 

“So...you’re going to keep me here. Stuck in your bedroom wall.” 

“Shut up! You were skulking around for I don’t know how long waiting to kill me! Your idea to just stick around was stupid too!” 

“I never said this was a stupid idea! Don’t put words in my mouth!” 

The princess bounded up to Feldspar with anger in her eyes, practically poking her finger in his chest during her lecture. “What? You weren’t thinking about how dumb I am!? You’d be a thief and a liar if you said otherwise!” 

“All thieves lie! How do you think we’re able to steal things!? By bouncing up to someone with bells on our dicks and telling them they’re going to get robbed!?” 

The two of them continued shouting at each other, the close range and chance of danger forgotten with the streams of insults the two were throwing at each other. Back and fourth, back and fourth, for what seemed like minutes that actually lasted hours. The princess and Feldspar argued until they were both red in the face, panting and headaches blossoming behind their eyes. 

Princess Kenny took deep breaths as she looked up at Feldspar through her hair, her cheeks flushed and fist curled against the thief’s chest, pushing at him weakly. Feldspar could feel his own red face turn even darker, the proximity of the blonde finally taken notice of. 

“Are you this insufferable around every person you’re assigned to kill? Or am I just special?” The princess had a small smile on her face, pushing off of Feldspar and standing back with her arms crossed. It had been so so long since she was able to talk with anyone, even like this. She didn’t trust Feldspar either, not as far as she could throw him, but the company? It was nice, even if she knew in her heart it would have to be fleeting. Princess Kenny was growing fond of him with every insult they barked at each other. Clearly, he needed to go. 

Feldspar clicked his tongue in annoyance, looking off to the side with a scowl on his face. “You’re the insufferable one. Anyone else would’ve just killed me by now instead of mocking me for hours on end. You’re exhausting to be around, y’know.” 

“Maybe it’s because talking to you is like talking to a child. Do you need to have the last word every time or something? It makes you look foolish.” 

“Oh, I look foolish? Says the one who stabbed me into a wall.” 

“Shut it! You’re so annoying!” 

The squabbling between them would have looked like some old married couple by any random passerby. Neither one of them were going to give, and neither one of them had the energy to go on. With a sigh, Feldspar cracked his neck and leaned himself back against the stone wall in a vain attempt to get more comfortable. 

“Look,” he started, rubbing his shoulder while he spoke “can you please just dislodge me already? I’ve spent almost forty hours standing up straight. It’s starting to fuck my neck up.” 

“Why stand for so long? The stick up your ass won’t let you sit or somethin’?” 

“Haaa, very fucking funny your highness,” the thief mocked. “I was watching you last night. Making sure you didn’t choke to death on vomit in your sleep.” 

The princess screwed her eyebrows together, glare faltering the slightest bit. “...Ignoring how ghastly that sounds. Why? Why would you do that?” 

“I wanted to make sure you were safe,” Feldspar stated flatly again, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Anyone who has as much rage inside of them as you doesn’t deserve to die gargling their own bile. It’s unbecoming of a princess.” 

Kenny felt heat rise to her cheeks, clicking her tongue and crossing her arms. “...I still don’t trust you. And don’t tell me what the fuck it is to be becoming. I’ll kick your ass.” 

“I’m sure you could. I’m stuck to a wall.” 

Kenny glared once more before sighing deeply, the tension in her body ebbing away as she walked up to Feldspar. “You try anything. Anything at all, and I’ll kick you in your balls so hard you’ll be gargling them like bile.” 

“What the hell are you talking about?” 

Without another word, Kenny grabbed onto the knife, giving it three solid pulls before Feldspars clothes came loose. The thief had been freed by the princess. 

“You keep telling me over and over again that you want me to be safe,” Kenny started, holding the knife at Feldspars stomach. “...What exactly does that mean to you, thief?” 

“My name is Feldspar.” 

“Don’t play games with me. I asked you a question, so fucking answer it.” 

The knife was dragged against the mans stomach, the blood stained metal slitting threads apart one by one. The thief continued on, his eyes as blank as they had been when he first arrived. 

“It means whatever you want it too. I’ve saved your life already instead of ending it. You could try killing me now, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able too. You’ll fail. Maybe even miserably. But I won’t lay a hand on you. I can’t and I won’t.” 

Princess Kenny stood silent this time, and Feldspar felt more words climb out of his mouth. “Have you chosen knights yet.” 

Kenny’s gaze shot up to look at the man before her, a disbelieving laugh chiming through the room. “You serious? Look me in the eyes and ask me that again.” 

Feldspar didn’t. Raising both hands slowly, he felt his legs give beneath his weight, landing on the floor with a soft thud. “...I, Feldspar the Thief, of the Land of the Snowy South and the Kingdom of the Rockies, kneel before Kenny McCormick, Princess of the Land Of Pabst...and ask her permission to serve under her house. As her first chosen knight, and protector.” 

If Kenny’s cheeks weren’t a burning red before, they definitely were now. Her face felt and looked like fire, her mouth opening and closing at a loss for words. 

So she didn’t speak. 

Moving faster than the thief could blink, Princess Kenny sent a heavy fist straight into the mans jaw, a crack and a thud heard for miles away. 

The thief lay there on the floor, mouth bleeding and eyes shut. The princess had knocked Feldspar out cold. 

Kenny stood over him, panting wildly and her fist radiating and angry warmth. 

“Don’t say stupid shit like that when no one else is around to hear it, dumbass! It makes it creepy!!” 

Feldspar didn’t respond; he would lay on the floor, breathing softly through his bloody mouth. 

With a tired sigh, Princess Kenny threaded her arms around the taller of the two, hiking him up onto her back and dumping his limp body onto her bed. 

“...Jackass,” the princess spat out. “...What kind of knight leaves their princess unprotected to take a damn nap.” 

Kenny sat herself opposite Feldspar, her long legs waving themselves back and fourth as she stared at her ceiling. She had spent so long looking at that ceiling by herself. ...Maybe having company around wouldn’t be so bad. Even if it was a childish asshole like Feldspar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and sticking with me, I appreciate it more and more every day!


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